Sometimes, I feel like I’m simultaneously the most talkative person I’ve ever known and also the most withdrawn, shy person from my group of friends.
Recently, I was in a voice call with several of my friends, including one that I used to be very close to, but slowly grew apart from, and hadn’t spoken to in over half a year. The call was random, unplanned, so I hadn’t felt nervous beforehand, and I didn’t feel nervous when I had joined the call.
When I started feeling nervous, it was because I realized that I hadn’t spoken a word in an entire hour.
This realization felt extremely strange, since lately I’ve been catching myself rambling to my friends more and more often. Why couldn’t I talk, all of a sudden?
Then I realized that: oh, it’s because they’re talking about something I’m not interested in. My friends had been eagerly discussing recent video games, but I personally hadn’t been paying attention to video games, though I did occasionally play. I wasn’t as invested as they were, and that wasn’t something that was shockingly out of the ordinary.
Maybe this should have been obvious. Clearly, you are going to make less conversation when you’re not personally interested in the current topic. Even so, realizing that I felt disconnected from a conversation with my friends was shocking.
I read about someone making the observation that children are rarely “quiet,” they have simply come to the disheartening conclusion that no one is listening when they speak. Some children may be aching to talk, but they hold themselves back because they are afraid of rejection, which is a completely understandable fear.
Pushing the right buttons, though, opens the floodgates.
Some children act as if their lips are glued together, until you mention Harry Potter, and they’ll start excitedly talking about their theories of the epilogue. Other children will quietly sit, looking down, until the topic of soccer slips into the conversation. Suddenly, after an hour, you’d realize that you’ve learned quite a bit about soccer from this little kid than you’ve ever learned in your life.
How important, and how intriguing, is the curiosity of children!
When I was a child, I was outgoing and extroverted, though I am somewhat the opposite now. Keeping all of my interests to myself because I think no one else will care has been exhausting, and it’s only been a couple of months. I can’t even begin to imagine the feelings of the children that believe that they must tie their mouth shut, and have been doing so, since they were very little.
It’s unfortunate that some children and people feel as if they should not talk. Unfortunate is an understatement — it is something that should not happen.
We can’t blame the quiet kids. Society is what made them feel as if they have no choice but to be quiet.
Connection and communication are some of the most important things in the world. How will we get anywhere if over half of the people aren’t talking?
